we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
