who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
