The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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