those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
love makes seman taste better
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
