had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
