Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
