TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my shit smells like andre
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
