He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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