Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
