Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize