Are we in a gay sports bar?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
