ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
