I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
