just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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