i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
