do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
