i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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