That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize