id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How external is "for external use only"?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
