Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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