Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
