There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
