What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
