Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
