If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
