Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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