She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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