Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
