is your mom at the bar?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was like eating out sand paper
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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