Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
