Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
