I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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