bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
