I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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