At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
