I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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