he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
