you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize