Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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