Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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