he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
