Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
