you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
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Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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