So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
