am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize