i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
