I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
