Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
