I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
high people should be assigned attendants
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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