just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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