I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
