it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
