Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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