He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
