Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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