i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
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After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
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