there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
