Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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