Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
