Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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