I wish I could punch you in the face.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
And then he peed in my hair
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