I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
