All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
