So drunk its hurt
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Pants are for mortals
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
